I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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