would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think my moral compass just broke
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
