This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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