This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
