Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she told me i tasted like america
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
