I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
