what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
