While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
