I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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