ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
