Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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