gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
