Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize