it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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