South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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