Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
