I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
