can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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