apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he fucked my hip out of place.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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