And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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