he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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