doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
