the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
