So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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