We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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