wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
