it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
