watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
