I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
