What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
