we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
