My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
