my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
