i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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