Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize