like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
