woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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