She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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