Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
