I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
