New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize