I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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