The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize