found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
