I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
