I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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