At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
