I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
