We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
