so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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