you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
