Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
