apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His nipple licking is glorious
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