So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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