allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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