But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
