so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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