Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
