ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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