Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
