eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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