I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
