They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
