Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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