I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
