As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
